Grad School Chronicles: Week 11

The past week and a half has been rough.  I have been waiting for biopsy results from my doctor.  Yesterday, in the last few minutes of my first class of the day, I got the call from my doctor -- BENIGN!  What a sweet, amazing word to hear after a week of worry, very little sleep, and extreme stress.  (Anyone who has had cancer knows exactly where I am coming from when I speak of the level of worry.)  

Unfortunately, the climate of my first class of the day leaves little room for celebration.  (This is largely due to the location of the class.)  So I sat there, alone and teary, holding in my good news while my classmates scurried about.  We are not allowed to use our phones during class, but I decided to head out into the hallway and take the call anyway.  I went back into the classroom and shot my husband a text with the news.  After I did so, I beat myself up for sending such news in a text message.  I so badly wanted to go back out into the hall and call him, but we are not allowed to be in the hallway without "a buddy".  (Considering I already stepped out alone to accept the call from my doctor, I didn't want to push my luck!)  Quite frankly, this was private news I wanted to share with the people I love before sharing with anyone else.  I also knew what would happen when I finally started to talk about it; the ugly crying would start and it would be impossible to stop.  I could not wait for class to end.  It's moments like this one that make me question whether this is the right graduate program for me.  It also makes me appreciate the type of learning community I created when I worked with adults.  Sigh.

Sun shining through the trees near Ainsworth in Portland, OR.
I finally arrived across town for my second class of the day.  The sun was shining, which has been a rare thing lately in the Pacific Northwest.  As I pulled into my parking spot, I received a text from my oldest son stating he won a college scholarship!  Between my good news, my son's scholarship news, and the sun turned out to be an amazing day.

What are my thoughts for the week?

  • It's funny how one awesome day can make a stressful week so much brighter.
  • Before my second class started, I ended up sharing my good news with one of my favorite classmates.  I am so glad I did!  Her hug was exactly what I needed at the time.
  • I realized when I saw one of my other favorite classmates crying along side me how much of an impact we have on each others lives.  I had not witnessed a spirit of community developing with this particular group of people until that moment.
  • I really need to either A) stop crying in front of people or B) get over my embarrassment of crying in front of other people.
  • I am beyond glad to no longer worry about how I will manage to continue grad school while healing from surgery and treatments!  I am so very ready to keep moving forward.  
  • Two more weeks of this semester to go...and counting.


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